08 March 2016


Posted by Vinoth Subramanian | Tuesday, March 08, 2016 Categories: , , ,

Some mistakes don’t cause much damage. But, the examination, observation, realization will make it so. This post may not please the reader much. But, it may help everyone to investigate their minds in treating others. As sons and daughters, if we analyze ourselves, we could understand something that is narrated in this post.

I’ve not penned any preface about my branch where I have been working so far though I had given a minute introduction of everyone in my previous post. We are totally seven staffs working in our branch including the Appraiser Mr. Sendhil. Our branch consists of three men and four women staffs in it, which had created the problem for me on that day. Subramani alias Mani (messenger) was on leave that day for his daughter’s engagement. Sendhil sir was on his way to dining room with his mobile.
“Mani anna wants to talk to you.” He addressed the third male staff of the branch which was none other than me.
“Why sir?” I asked and stretched my hand to receive his mobile with a mild guess.
“He wants to invite you for his daughter’s engagement.”
After exchanging our ‘hello’ with each other, he continued the conversation.
“Kindly come for my daughter’s engagement. I called everyone yesterday, but, you’d just left when I was about to invite you.”
“Sorry sir. Yesterday my father couldn’t come. Hence I called the auto-man and went early to my home.”
He was hearing from the other end and, once again didn’t forget to invite me. I deemed that he would not invite anyone. I didn’t know why. I thought so for he was in a befuddled position regarding his daughter’s engagement. He had called everyone and simply deconstructed my calculation on the previous day which I was lately aware of.

The previous day, which was little tricky for me too. My father had to attend our relative’s funeral. Having no other option, for the first time since joining bank, I called Mr. Babu (the familiar auto-man) to take me home from bank. Usually, my father used to come inside the bank to take me every evening in the presence of Mani sir, which didn’t happen on that day. As usual, I informed my manager (Mrs. Thenmozhi) and went out on my own and the auto-man had just arrived at the gate. Mani sir was not aware of my departure, and, I was not aware of his invitation in our bank. If he had noticed me, he would have invited me and might have insisted me to bring my father to the function which would have obliterated the whole chaos of my mind. The day of invitation ended, the day of engagement began.

After disconnecting the call along with my promise to Mani sir, I was waiting for Anitha ma’am (clerical) and Suja ma’am (Housekeeping) to join me for lunch. Suja ma’am was the first one to eat with me when I joined the bank. Not only that, she was the first one to hold my hand and guided me to each and every place of the bank also. She showed me dining room, washroom, wash-basin Etc. She trained me like my primary school mobility teacher and made me roam on my own inside the bank. Soon after joining the bank, after Suja ma’am, Mani sir also started guiding me to get the knowledge about things and places. Mostly, Anitha ma’am, Suja ma’am and I would eat together. Sometimes, my manager also would join us. Initially, I felt shy to eat with Anitha ma’am then, with my manager and now the familiarity steers my shyness away.

Coming back to the story, Both Suja ma’am Anitha ma’am were discussing the time of departure to the venue. As usual, I remained as an active listener.
My father came at three thirty to collect our house key for he took my mother to the hospital in the morning. I gave the key and told the situation.
“All the four of them are ladies, who will take you?” My father had converted my problematic thoughts into words.
“That is the actual problem now.” I replied.
“Someone needs to hold your hand in the hall. Who will do that? Will Suja take care of you inside by holding your hand?”
“She may not say no if I ask. But, how can I trouble her?” I replied.
Both of us had no answer for that. I let my father go and asked him to come at four-thirty evening.
Not that I never held women’s’ hands in my life. In fact, the list is lengthy since my post graduation. Though my mind felt shy at times, my hands and palms became used to it and became ignorant of gender differences. My palm, to tell the truth, is like a gigolo, as it had been with many but, qualified to own none for its future.

“You can come by bike with your father right?” Suja ma’am asked me. I had nothing to say though, I said yes. My father came as usual. But, I went with him without even informing my manager for the first time since joined.
“How can I go to the function now?” I asked him.
“Are you going?” He asked me when we came out.
“Yes! I have to go.”
“Then why are you coming with me! Who knows the address?”
“I know. But, I don’t know how to go. If it was some other staff’s function, I would have gone with Mani sir comfortably. But, it is his function and wondering what to do. I am not as close as to walk with Sendhil sir.”
“I have no objection to come with you till the entrance. But, I should not come inside. Now, the problem is who will take care of you inside the hall? If anybody is ready to do that, I will be waiting outside and receive you the moment you come out. You people are going as his colleagues. It won’t be fair if I come.” He was saying while driving. The bike came to my home. I could understand cent percent logic in his thinking. I went inside my home, dropped my bag and almost dropped the plan of attending the function. My mother was speaking with my aunty just after reaching home from hospital. My father followed me and sat in the balcony. I didn’t strip my dress on that day. I felt hungry and felt like eating.
I strolled and started groping something in the kitchen to eat. It wasn’t the right time to eat but, my mind forced me to do that. I found a sweet box on the refrigerator. I opened and found two Laddu inside the box. I took one, stuffed it into my mouth and closed the box. I came out. My father was still sitting without any idea.
“My father will not object if I insist him to come to the function for me. But, I don’t want to make my father feel awkward.” I said to myself and continued. My mind was musing something seriously but my mouth was simply chewing something. It didn’t take much time for me to realize the disappearance of the Laddu under my teeth.
“Suja ma’am or other staff will surely take care of me inside if I go to the function without my father. But, I don’t want for I feel like troubling them in the name of dependency.” I stammered with myself and went inside in search of another Laddu. It may sound silly and weird. But, this is what happened on that day. I felt like eating one more Laddu. Taking the second one and making the sweet box empty, I hurled it in the dustbin and came out to the staircase as before.

“It is decided.” I said to myself and continued, “I am not going to attend his function. He should not have informed me or should have forgotten me. Nonetheless, I am going to be answerable tomorrow. His first question will be ‘why didn’t you come to my daughter’s engagement?’ The second one will be ‘everybody came except you.’ The third one will be even terrible. He should not doubt me by asking ‘Didn’t you come since I informed over the phone?’ How can I answer him? How can I answer him? How can I face him? Not only that, what will I answer if everyone starts asking me the reason for my absence? ” I was completely dumb and my mind stopped functioning. It was already four-forty five P.M. All of a sudden, something struck into my mind, which must be called a gender injustice. I knew it was wrong. I knew it wasn’t fair. I knew it wasn’t a good sign of a good son. Still, I turned, walked back and threw out the idea to my father. He didn’t hesitate much, not more than two seconds and gave the optimistic sign to my plan. I didn’t have much time to think of committing this sin though I analyzed enough of it. I went inside where my mother was still conversing with my aunty.
“Amma. Are you coming to engagement?” Both of them stopped talking.
“Whose engagement?” She asked and aunty remained quiet.
“Mani sir’s daughter.”
“Okay!” She replied and began getting ready. Meanwhile, I called my manager to know the situation in the bank. She said they are yet to depart and asked me to report to the venue directly.
Though I convinced my mother with taking no effort, my mind was raising some logical questions at me. Whenever I get confused in making decisions, I split the outcome of the incidents into positive and negative sides, and that happed on that evening also. Fortunately, even after my mother’s acceptance to go with me, I had two painful options/questions before me. Number 1: What if I don’t go? The same awkward moment occupied my mind. Number 2: if my father feels awkward in the function hall, is it not applicable to my mother? If my father wanted to maintain his prestige, does my mother not have that? So, it’s clear… crystal clear… I treat my father and mother differently and unequally.” ” Though my mother can easily mingle my bank staffs as they are all ladies, what I am doing is injustice to her. Having no other possible option, I convinced myself, “My decision will not trouble anyone except me and my mother.”

It would have been around five twenty P.M. we reached the hall but found none and got confused. My mother was searching to find any of my staff. “Have we come to the right place?” She asked. Fortunately, Mani sir was visible to her eyes to put an end to our confusion.
“Welcome. Where are the others? Where is ma’am?” He asked me.
“They are yet to put day-end sir. They must be on the way I suppose. I went home and coming back.” I replied. He welcomed us again and went.
We were sitting and observing the rest of the function. It got over. My manager and staffs came in just after everything got over.
“Everything has got over ma’am.” The cashier ma’am said to the manager.
“You came early?” My manager asked me.
“Twenty minutes back ma’am.”
They sat for a while with us. My mom was talking to both Suja ma’am and Anitha ma’am. She mingled with them I could observe. Then, we proceeded to dining hall. After that, photo session took place where my mother really felt awkward. She asked me to join them. But, Suja ma’am and Mani sir insisted her to join us. Everything got over. I shook my hands with the bride, groom and the sister of bride. My father called me to come soon and I moved down with my mother. My father reached us, took us to the home and urged my mother to get ready for the hospital. “You know it will delay for sure. You both could have gone to the function right?” She asked him. Both of us had no answer.
“If my son was like others,” she murmured her typical dialog while getting ready, “He would have roamed all the places independently.”
They both left me and went. As usual, I clambered to the terrace. She would not mind me troubling her for my needs. She would never mind me insulting her for my selfishness. But, both my mind and the passing wind will never forgive this unknown culprit.


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