POEM: THE LETTER, TO MY DESIRE

I feel happy for your death

But I feel sad for my survival

I feel pity for your unending attempts

But, I feel proud of my loss and victory.

The bloodless but the most painful battle between

You and I have come to an end

I always win you is the regular scene.

Now I won you, lost all, and none to tend.

This fascinating forest turned in to crematory

Nobody will come for your funeral

So you burn yourself and I’m sorry

For slaying you or this may become feral.

You were urging me to play and win

But, I wanted myself to stay and lose

Losing may be a pain; but here, winning is a sin!

For me, pain was the better choice and I chose to lose.

You wanted me to be a main-player

But, I played as a spectator in my crease

My eyes are severely sweating now

The pain of being all time substitute will never ease.

I may have to return it tomorrow

If I had possessed it yesterday

I may have to carry sorrow

If I want to be happy today

Obviously you were guiding me to the best

But why did I think of killing you my desire?

If I think of being happy as you wish,

I should make this world suffer!

In or out was the endless confusion

You had been forcing me to be in

But, I had been refusing and staying out

The conflict had reached its conclusion

Finally I was about to get in

And was puzzled that you would win

There the best of mine was getting its best

Hence, I quietly walked out and killed you to rest

It was an unheard murder in the world

I forced you to drink my bitter tears

You refused, struggled, suffered and wanted to survive

I forced, you tried, cried and then died.

Either of us should die to bury this secret

Death of you will be a better option I thought

I killed; I sit, and cry for you now

But nobody is there for me to cry you know?

Do you remember my last word while dying?

“Both living in this world as I wish,

And leaving you alive as you wish

Will lead to disaster so do die my desire.”

Hey you devil, my dead desire

Disclose now. What is your desire?

Do you agree that my will is stronger than your wish?

Or do you want to test me once again?

This territory can be your own jungle

As always, I am brave and single

Wake up and try drawing your weapon

As usual, I have no one to depend

Resurrect… resurrect… resurrect…

If you can my bloody dead desire

Confront me in a re-battle

And you may drink my tears again.

Those most joyful and memorable moments

Turning out to be miserable memories now

I killed you, but having no strength to burn you

But they are burning me alive here!

I take leave and leave everything

Except my tears and pain

Let them accompany me as long as they can

I have separate letters for them.

I lost all and have nothing to lose

I guess I’ll have no one to choose

I have no one to compete as you are no more

Let it end where it began

And let all end where it began!