03 August 2015


Posted by Vinoth Subramanian | Monday, August 03, 2015 Categories: , , ,

I feel happy for your death
But I feel sad for my survival
I feel pity for your unending attempts
But, I feel proud of my loss and victory.

The bloodless but the most painful battle between
You and I have come to an end
I always win you is the regular scene.
Now I won you, lost all, and none to tend.

This fascinating forest turned in to crematory
Nobody will come for your funeral
So you burn yourself and I’m sorry
For slaying you or this may become feral.

You were urging me to play and win
But, I wanted myself to stay and lose
Losing may be a pain; but here, winning is a sin!
For me, pain was the better choice and I chose to lose.

You wanted me to be a main-player
But, I played as a spectator in my crease
My eyes are severely sweating now
The pain of being all time substitute will never ease.

I may have to return it tomorrow
If I had possessed it yesterday
I may have to carry sorrow
If I want to be happy today

Obviously you were guiding me to the best
But why did I think of killing you my desire?
If I think of being happy as you wish,
I should make this world suffer!

In or out was the endless confusion
You had been forcing me to be in
But, I had been refusing and staying out
The conflict had reached its conclusion

Finally I was about to get in
And was puzzled that you would win
There the best of mine was getting its best
Hence, I quietly walked out and killed you to rest

It was an unheard murder in the world
I forced you to drink my bitter tears
You refused, struggled, suffered and wanted to survive
I forced, you tried, cried and then died.

Either of us should die to bury this secret
Death of you will be a better option I thought
I killed; I sit, and cry for you now
But nobody is there for me to cry you know?

Do you remember my last word while dying?
“Both living in this world as I wish,
And leaving you alive as you wish
Will lead to disaster so do die my desire.”

Hey you devil, my dead desire
Disclose now. What is your desire?
Do you agree that my will is stronger than your wish?
Or do you want to test me once again?

This territory can be your own jungle
As always, I am brave and single
Wake up and try drawing your weapon
As usual, I have no one to depend

Resurrect… resurrect… resurrect…
If you can my bloody dead desire
Confront me in a re-battle
And you may drink my tears again.

Those most joyful and memorable moments
Turning out to be miserable memories now
I killed you, but having no strength to burn you
But they are burning me alive here!

I take leave and leave everything
Except my tears and pain
Let them accompany me as long as they can
I have separate letters for them.

I lost all and have nothing to lose
I guess I’ll have no one to choose
I have no one to compete as you are no more
Let it end where it began
And let all end where it began!


  1. மிக அழகாக
    உள்ளக் குமுறலைக்
    கவிதை ரூபத்தில்
    கொட்டியதுபோல இருக்கு!

    ஒத்துக்கொள்கிறேன்! வினோத்தும் இந்த நூற்றாண்டின் john done என்று!

  2. Thank you Mahesh. For understanding and commenting on my poem.

  3. I knew how painful it would have been to you while reading your previous poems. But, I feel your pain in me while reading this poem Anna!


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