11 April 2015


Posted by Vinoth Subramanian | Saturday, April 11, 2015 Categories: , , ,

“Do you have vision or not?” somebody was asking someone in the train while I was travelling to Beach station yesterday. I was tending on the iron-wall of the train. Twenty minutes ago, my friend Thameem had called me but I couldn’t pick for I was in the certificate counter to receive my original documents for the purpose of bank job. I thought of calling him after boarding.
“Open your mouth and say. Do you have vision or not?” the person continued.
He might have asked it for more than five times I think. I was wondering like, whom is he asking?

“How would I have reacted if the question was asked to me?” I asked myself and snickered.
Thameem called me when I was about to call. I picked up and conversing about today’s meeting. I sensed a finger tap on my shoulder.
“You are looking decent! And pretending like a blind! Right?” he said this time.
I asked Thameem to hang up and told I would call him afterwards.
“I have been watching you for some time, and you are standing without holding anything. Are you a blind or not? Cheating right?” My quiescent brain started working. I don’t have the habit of holding when I lean on something. The bag was hanging on my shoulder and I was leaning on that wall with my bag. Initially I couldn’t sense why he was senselessly asking like that. But he was not in a position to stop it anymore.
“You are not fit for living in this sacred world. Better you commit suicide right now. Jesus! Oh! Jesus! Why did you create such people like this? You are acting right? Acting as a blind! It is a sin you know? Do you know who Jesus is? It is me! How the hell you can stand without holding anything? I can also stand like you, you know? I won’t leave you till you die. Die! Die right now! Commit suicide! Jump down from the train! What the hell you people achieve by cheating others? Pretending as a blind! You should go and beg instead! You know why train goes slow? It is because of me! I ordered them to go slow!”
I assured that he must be a mad-man. He started calling and informing others.
“Look! People do look at him! The slicker! Pretending in front of everyone! Why do you stand like that? Stand in the middle of the train without holding anything. Come on! Stand like me! I will confirm whether you are a blind or not? I won’t leave you alive! People!” he slightly raised his voice, “why nobody would ask this? He is pretending as a blind and having a stick!”
I stood straight, faced at him and asked.
“What do you want? What is your problem? What is your problem?”
“What? What? What is my problem? You are deceiving others. Either you jump down and commit suicide, or will have a deal. (dealing vechikkalama? Dealing?) Will you complain? I am not afraid of police. Go jump die. I won’t leave you. You cannot escape from me. Police can’t do anything you know? They will be shivering in front of me you know? What are you looking at me? I will pluck both of your eyes and make you a real blind.” I understood that he was more than a mad person. He must have been a psycho I came to a conclusion. If it is possible for me to be blind for twenty-three years it must be possible to be deaf and dumb for twenty-three minutes in this train I convinced myself.  He didn’t stop by the way.

“Is it park station?” he asked. “Fort brother.” Said someone and ran.
“Fort? Fort. I am the king of fort. Amma Jayalalitha is my mother Stalin is my brother. The train is standing because of me. Red is Muruga, orange is Perumal, green is Jesus and I am that Jesus.” Once again he was calling and telling them I am pretending like a blind-man. It was difficult for me to fathom whether he was testing my patience or fury. Enough is enough. I was forced to lose my patience for the very first time. It is better to hit him I decided. Should I use my stick or should it be my hand was the question inside me. I had my stick in my left hand and the right hand was free. I must beat him. He had been pestering perpetually. The train halted in fort station. Anything may happen before I reach Beach station and he doesn’t seem to be getting down anywhere. I said to myself. But, however, if I want to hit him I should hit him hard. I should not give him any chance to react minimum for three to four seconds. Otherwise I will be retaliated. He had been developing like a perilous villain at that time. I was thinking of some other incident. One of my friend who was a low-vision, ill-treated in the Nungambakkam railway station. That stranger hit him; he retaliated and ran to the college. The stranger was chasing him inside the college. A group of students found him and gave him a nice treatment. But this is not college, I should be careful when I hit him. I am not inside the train. He may push me at anytime from the train. I must give him a firm slap before anything worse happen. Let me use my hand first, if anything goes worse, let me use the stick. I said to myself. I had small rehearsal in my imagination. I shouldn’t miss his cheek or ear when I slap. I once again said to myself. He didn’t stop yet. I stood straight, freed myself, shrugged my shoulder, and stared at him with excessive fury. The next thing is to use my front foot and raise my hand to hit him. Somebody deflected me by putting his hand at my stomach.
“Oh! Getting angry? Will you beat me? I will kill you!” this time he became furious and spilt some filthy words too.
“Why are you fighting with him? He is blind.” One of the passengers said.
“Who is blind? Who is blind? He is able to see. He saw me when I spoke. Now also he saw me. He is cheating everyone.” He replied and continued. “I will not leave you man. (Some bad words) I will not leave you what so ever. Let me complain to RPF.”
I turned my face away from him. He was digressing about some other things. The train was very slow.
He was shouting “Slow motion! Slow motion! I said. The train will go slow.”
Some people were still inside the compartment. They were speaking and laughing on some other things. Once again he started scolding me.
“Adichidalama? Better shall I beat?” I murmured. He found my lip movement though I was turning away from him.
“Are you scolding me B--? B--? Who is B—I am not B—do you know what kind of a B—I am?” he misunderstood again I guessed. I was about to laugh but controlled myself for it may lead to unnecessary mess. Thameem called me again. I hesitated to pick up the call, eventually picked up and talked.
“Calling someone? You cannot do anything. Okay? I will inform railway police.” He was yelling again. I asked him to hang up and told him that I would call after reaching home.

Beach station came. He got down. But unusually I didn’t. I just waited inside the train and got down after two minutes. I was slowly walking on the platform. It was first platform I finally found. I had to reach the third platform to get the staircase to go to the fifth platform. I strolled and reached the third platform. Sometimes, I find the staircase by luck. Sometimes I don’t. Those days I convince myself by saying “The day is not yours.” Yesterday, I was groping staircase for some minutes. I thought I may not find it. I waited to ask someone to show me the staircase. Finally there was an announcement about Velacheri train which helped me to find it. While I was facing the third platform, something was blocking the announcement behind. It should be the staircase I guessed. I turned back and walked towards right. My guess was right. My cane landed on the staircase.
“I would have found it earlier if I had my vision which I lost three years ago.” I said to myself and climbed.
When I was about to mount the fourth step, someone festinated behind me and hit my bag hard.
“Oi! Stop! Come! Come! They are calling you.” I turned. It was a familiar voice. He was none other than the same psycho.
“The day is still on.” I said to myself and started descending with my cane which is my only life partner. The steps had to receive the prints of my foot fare again.
“Sir! He is that culprit sir! He is the one!” he yelled.
“Come sir.” This time the cop called me. It must be that railway police I could guess and he should have brought them there.
“What happened?” he asked.
“Sir he is cheating. He is pretending as a blind.” He blabbered as usual.
“Who is pretending?” He asked him.
“He is the one sir!”
“Remove your coolers (kannadiya kalattunga?)” the cop asked I removed.
“Hay! Look at his eyes man! What are you saying? How can he act?” the cop was shocked and asked him.
“He punched on my face sir!” he replied.
I was completely flummoxed and gave enigmatic look at the cop! The cop also was baffled. He was unable to get angry which I noticed by his tone. He was also shocked like me I understood.
“Look at his eyes and talk man! How he would have punched you!” the tone was serious but not severe.
“Yes sir! Don’t believe him sir! Looking decent! And cheating sir! Moreover, punched me on my face sir!” looking decent? Wow! What a statement! How many time he would have told it. How sweet if it would have been told by young girls? What to do this time it was from that brainless fellow.
I became apoplectic that time.
“Sir, actually I didn’t want to complain as of now. He was the one misbehaving,” he stopped me by holding my hand.
“Please wear your coolers sir.” The tone was losing its puissance. He might have felt guilty for troubling me I guessed.
“Don’t you have sense?” this time the cop snarled at him.
“How he would have hit you? Where is your ticket?” finally the valid question!
Meanwhile he asked me where I am going. I said Tiruvallur. He might have waved his hands to someone to help I guess. The person came to me.
“Come sir we shall go. I will take you to the fifth platform.”
“Where is your ticket?” he was asking him with rage.
“Sir, I am coming to Beach. From vizhuppuram, T.nagar,” he was blabbering. I went to the top and couldn’t hear the conversation further.
“Oh God.” I smiled and sighed.
“He is looking like a drunkard sir. How you got caught?” The person who was guiding me asked.
“He has been blabbering since I got in to the train.”
He made me sit on the bench and left. I was standing since morning. My legs were aching.
“Thank god! I didn’t hit him. Otherwise the things would have gone against me!” I said to myself.
All of a sudden, somebody came and tapped my shoulder.
“Boss! We are coming from vision through blind. Do you want Braille calendar?”
“I already have sir.” I replied to avoid him.

My mind was chewing the day.
I couldn’t meet vice principal till 3:30 to get the signature for getting the originals. I thought of leaving the college and decided to get it tomorrow. I was supposed to meet Saranya akka at 4:00. When I was about to leave the college at 3:40, she said she had to go home soon for buying some medicines.
Why should I go back to the vice principal’s room again?
Why should he be there fortunately? The place was crowded. But still I wanted to get his signature.
After getting his signature, I could have postponed the work tomorrow. Why should I go to the certificate counter? Sometimes, they used to ask the students to come on the next day to collect them. Fortunately he gave the originals within ten minutes.
I came out. It was 4:30. I had twenty minutes more to depart from there to the railway station. Somebody stopped and asked me where I am going. Why should I say railway station? He said he is also going there. He came with me to some distance and unexpectedly left me with some other guy for he had to meet someone.
The new guy was in a hurry and I had to walk fast with him though I had enough time. Usually I used to reach the Nungambakkam railway station at 4:55 or 5:00 in the evening. Why should I reach at 4:40? Why should I catch the train even though it was very early? The only reason was to confront him. The final question. Why should I meet him?
It is to increase the number of post from thirty-eight to thirty-nine.

Once my parents come to know all these things they will be scared to send me out alone.
Should I tell this to my parents?


  1. It is to increase the number of post from thirty-eight to thirty-nine.///

    Once my parents come to know all these things they will be scared to send me out alone.
    Should I tell this to my parents?///

    thevaiyillama solli avungala en payapada vaikkanum vinoth.
    ellam oru anupavam taana.

  2. I too would not have told my parents had I come across the simular incident Anna.


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